Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I do a big poo
I do it only for you
On my hands is goo

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

billy touched my poo-hole

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I miss rounders talks.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

It was a work of art
A most malodorous fart
A toilet bowl champ from the start
Now we bid adieu
To this stinking haiku
Dedicated to my poo

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I'm your proxy pooper, baby
I'll poop for you for pay
I'm your proxy pooper, baby
C'mon I ain't got all day

So lay your money down
I'll grunt out all that's brown
Just a few more dumps and I'll own this town

I'm your proxy pooper, baby
I'll poop for you for pay

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

The last time I got any was when my finger broke through the toilet paper….

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ved0qqWZPX4

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

(Verse 1)
In the silence, a sound did abound
A toot, a boom, a stinky little sound
It echoed through the room, oh so proud
A gassy little secret, no one dared to avow

(Chorus)
Farts, oh farts, so silent but deadly
A natural act, yet oh so unsteady
Clearing rooms, with a stinky little fame
Farts, oh farts, the laughter's all the same

(Verse 2)
In the elevator, it was a tight squeeze
A tiny little bubble, that brought on the freeze
The awkwardness was palpable, the air was thick
As everyone pretended, it wasn't quite a trick

(Chorus)
Farts, oh farts, so silent but deadly
A natural act, yet oh so unsteady
Clearing rooms, with a stinky little fame
Farts, oh farts, the laughter's all the same

(Bridge)
Who's to blame, for this gassy little crime?
The beans, the broccoli, or the guilty mind?
We giggle and snicker, at the smelly little sound
But deep down, we're all thinking, "That could've been me, spinning around"

(Chorus)
Farts, oh farts, so silent but deadly
A natural act, yet oh so unsteady
Clearing rooms, with a stinky little fame
Farts, oh farts, the laughter's all the same

(Outro)
So let's raise a stink, and let it all out
Embrace the toot, and let the laughter shout
For in the end, it's just a natural part
Of being human, with a gassy little heart

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

In the midst of my day, a sudden surprise,
My stomach gave way, to a most mortifying guise.
Caught off guard, I felt the discomfort begin,
A frantic search for a restroom, I hastily spin.

Alas, I was too late, it happened so fast,
A poop, a crap, an embarrassing blast.
I stood there in shock, my cheeks flushed with red,
A poopy pants predicament, I wished I were dead.

But as I looked up, I saw a flash of light,
A silver lining, a beacon of hope in my sight.
A chance to learn, and to grow from this plight,
To find humor in moments, when things don't go right.

For we all make mistakes, and face such a mess,
What's important is learning, and trying our best.
So here's to the poops, the farts, and the sharts,
To the funny, weird, and unpredictable parts.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

https://imgur.com/TWngFQU

http://www.link.com

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I want to excrete a poop that is splendid
I want it to be just like my friend did
Grunting and grimacing then grin widely flashing
As stinky turds into the bowl they were splashing
To take such a shit would be utterly smashing

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

A big poop just came out of my bunghole.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Do not get to 35 replies. After that, the thread ends. Look at the "last Post" thread.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Last night I had a ferocious diarea attack. I think the ham and beans caused it. The outhouse never smelt so bad.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

It's great to see our new poo thread taking off with so many new and inspiring poop poems and reports! Keep up the great work folks! KUDOS!!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

poop

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Today I felt rumbling bin my guts. I released massive amounts of greasy shart into the bowl. It happened twice in about 90 minutes.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I made an 18 incher today replete with bicolour corn and other things. It took 4 wipes to get clean ans it left an awesome skid mark.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Poo Star Trek comic joke. Enjoy.

https://imgur.com/undefined

https://imgur.com/undefined

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Elaine delete my other post above, not sure what happened with the 'undefined' result. Thanks.

https://imgur.com/a/AyTqUed

https://imgur.com/a/AyTqUed

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I'm hittin' on the pipe while I'm shittin' and on Skype
Because my shit is global, bitches
My stench has earned me fabulous riches

The length of my turds clog every can
The truth of my words destroy every man

Fuck with me and I'll tear you to pieces
Because I'm a bad ass mother feces

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

^^Whoooooo!!! I am scared now!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I was a awakened with a rumbling in my stomach, got up and then had a massive bout of diahhrea just as my butt hit the seat. I must have lost half a gallon. I feel refreshed now.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

In a world where the wind blows strong,
There's a sound that can't go wrong.
It's not a melody or a sweet refrain,
But a rumble that brings joy and pain.

From deep within, a rumbling starts,
Escaping in bursts, the gas departs.
A symphony of toots and blasts,
A comedic relief that's unsurpassed.

Some may wrinkle their nose in disgust,
But for others, it's a source of robust
Laughter and giggles, a lighthearted jest,
A natural function we can't resist.

So let it out, don't hold it in,
Embrace the fart with a cheeky grin.
For in the end, it's a simple art,
A playful ode to the humble fart.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I wish the Queen of Rounders would check in.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

^^You rang? Don't push your luck. If I find out where you live, you just might find yourself stepping in one of my rounders outside your door.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Sweet, you ol poopmonger you! Yall better not even think about droppin one o' yer patented rounders on my door, or else muh huntin dogs will run you off fer sure. And tell yer friend Mamsquatch to go away. This naborhood smells bad enuff without the stink o' your rounders makin it worse.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I eat like a hog
and I drop a massive log
Im not what you'd call descreet
I drop my poo in the middle of the street
When I eat at taco bell
I unleash an odor from hell
My sphincter serves me very well.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I see AE is back up. My record of continuous days of making poops that leave skidmarks remains intact. 4 years, 5 months and 10 days!!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

So I totally forgot about this one.

A couple of decades ago I had to drink some cobalt concoction, I think, so I could get an abdominal x-ray. Doc warned me that it would turn my shit to stone and stay in the toilet for an indefinite amount of time.

After the first expulsion, I decided to walk about a block to where I was going to grad school and leave it for them. Bet they never figured out who left the cement poop.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I just dropped the nastiest watery greaser ever. I couldn't get away from the outhouse fast enough. That smell could knock a mule down.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I took some Colon Blow and I had a 21 incher that shot out like a cannonball! It left no skids and almost went down without flushing!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Where can I get some "Colon Blow'?

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I had a nice 17 incher this am. It was slek and smooth and quite hard. It went down woithout leaving any skid marks. I was quite refreshed afterwards.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I blew a big fart that was stinky and luscious
Then I took a big shit that took three flushes

For all that was brown to go down
I rule this town, you just a clown

I drink a bottle of milk of magnesia
I crap so large I need anesthesia

I shit until the bowl overfills
frat boy, I got bowel movement skills

Turd, word