Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I do a big poo
I do it only for you
On my hands is goo

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

billy touched my poo-hole

Toilet Central

Second? Bunk, this is like the tenth "official" one of these dumb things.

Mein Poop or My Struggle

When I poop for the nation
My ass makes a gyration
Then out comes a log or two

When doing this thing
I may blow out an o-ring
But it's something I must do

Then my butt wiper
Puts on a clean diaper
And now I bid you adieu

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I miss rounders talks.

Our Laws are Toilet Paper

Why America Exists

Our nation's founders
Loved to talk rounders
As they planned our future evolution

And when they wrote all those legal loopholes
They dropped deuces out of their poop holes
Then they called it a Constitution

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

It was a work of art
A most malodorous fart
A toilet bowl champ from the start
Now we bid adieu
To this stinking haiku
Dedicated to my poo

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I'm your proxy pooper, baby
I'll poop for you for pay
I'm your proxy pooper, baby
C'mon I ain't got all day

So lay your money down
I'll grunt out all that's brown
Just a few more dumps and I'll own this town

I'm your proxy pooper, baby
I'll poop for you for pay

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

The last time I got any was when my finger broke through the toilet paper….

Poop for God and Country

^ Poking your dirty ass with your finger isn't "getting any" you pervert, so learn how to wipe your ass, sicko. Use folds of paper not just a single sheet, duh.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ved0qqWZPX4

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

(Verse 1)
In the silence, a sound did abound
A toot, a boom, a stinky little sound
It echoed through the room, oh so proud
A gassy little secret, no one dared to avow

(Chorus)
Farts, oh farts, so silent but deadly
A natural act, yet oh so unsteady
Clearing rooms, with a stinky little fame
Farts, oh farts, the laughter's all the same

(Verse 2)
In the elevator, it was a tight squeeze
A tiny little bubble, that brought on the freeze
The awkwardness was palpable, the air was thick
As everyone pretended, it wasn't quite a trick

(Chorus)
Farts, oh farts, so silent but deadly
A natural act, yet oh so unsteady
Clearing rooms, with a stinky little fame
Farts, oh farts, the laughter's all the same

(Bridge)
Who's to blame, for this gassy little crime?
The beans, the broccoli, or the guilty mind?
We giggle and snicker, at the smelly little sound
But deep down, we're all thinking, "That could've been me, spinning around"

(Chorus)
Farts, oh farts, so silent but deadly
A natural act, yet oh so unsteady
Clearing rooms, with a stinky little fame
Farts, oh farts, the laughter's all the same

(Outro)
So let's raise a stink, and let it all out
Embrace the toot, and let the laughter shout
For in the end, it's just a natural part
Of being human, with a gassy little heart

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

In the midst of my day, a sudden surprise,
My stomach gave way, to a most mortifying guise.
Caught off guard, I felt the discomfort begin,
A frantic search for a restroom, I hastily spin.

Alas, I was too late, it happened so fast,
A poop, a crap, an embarrassing blast.
I stood there in shock, my cheeks flushed with red,
A poopy pants predicament, I wished I were dead.

But as I looked up, I saw a flash of light,
A silver lining, a beacon of hope in my sight.
A chance to learn, and to grow from this plight,
To find humor in moments, when things don't go right.

For we all make mistakes, and face such a mess,
What's important is learning, and trying our best.
So here's to the poops, the farts, and the sharts,
To the funny, weird, and unpredictable parts.

Twist and Shout

Hi, my name is Lance
I just shit my pants

Hi, my name is Dan
The shit just hit the fan

Hi, my name is Lucy
My stinky farts are juicy

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

https://imgur.com/TWngFQU

http://www.link.com

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I want to excrete a poop that is splendid
I want it to be just like my friend did
Grunting and grimacing then grin widely flashing
As stinky turds into the bowl they were splashing
To take such a shit would be utterly smashing

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

A big poop just came out of my bunghole.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Do not get to 35 replies. After that, the thread ends. Look at the "last Post" thread.

Test Poop

test poop

test poop

a ghost pooped in the bowl

test poop

A Poop Poem

What On Earth

In the middle of the night
My colon gave me a plight
To which I could not fight
So on the can I did alight
And grunt with all my might
Out came an unearthly delight
That was flushed out of sight

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Last night I had a ferocious diarea attack. I think the ham and beans caused it. The outhouse never smelt so bad.

For the Long Haul

King of the Road

Out on the road ten days
Ain't took a dump since then
I like to perch on my own pot
I'm a man who likes what he got

Got home to my porcelain glaze
It feels like a dear old friend
It's been so long I nearly forgot
Oh, how I love to cop a squat

And as I wipe my rear
I grin from ear to ear
I flush and jump in my truck
And grind another gear

Taking a Dump

God's Chosen Pooper

Hi, my name's Schlomo D. Jew
And in a moment or two
I'm going to go to the loo
And crap out a pile of poo
It's just something I must do
Well, mazaltov and toodle-oo

I Poop Alone

My Morning

I farted a brown fog
As I pooped a big log
Made of peanuts and hog
That smelled like a wet dog
And when flushed the can did clog

T.P. Fido

The dog did tongue
Upon my bung
Man's best friend
Until the end

Circumcising the Globe

Let Us Spray

The Pope made a poop
On the Vatican's can
It flushed to Heaven
For part God, part Man

And then He sprayed
In order to please us
And then He prayed
To the Rabbi Jesus

Like President Trump

Remember to flush
After you take a dump
Unless you wear a diaper
Like President Trump

As the World Burns

Master the Universe

Please be discrete
When you excrete
Try not to be seen

But if you want a heinie
That's bright and shiny
Rub it with afro-sheen

If cold don't fret
Just light a fart
It's your best bet

And if too hot
Cool your buns
On the pot

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

It's great to see our new poo thread taking off with so many new and inspiring poop poems and reports! Keep up the great work folks! KUDOS!!

The Best of Times

The Air Apparent

Yo, I'm a gangsta rapper
I stink up every crapper

I'm a bad mother, I'm violent
My farts are deadly and silent

Yo, I'm a criminal mastermind
I got diarrhea comin' out my behind

All these banks I'm robbin'
My hemorrhoids are throbbin'

I got trends, I got styles
Yo, I got bloody piles

When I'm on the streets, I do my own thing
When I'm on the can, I blow out an o-ring

Yo, get outta my way
I poop ten times a day

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

poop

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Today I felt rumbling bin my guts. I released massive amounts of greasy shart into the bowl. It happened twice in about 90 minutes.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

The Ballad of G.C.

I'm a gangster crapper
I poop in the city
And I'm a gangster rapper
So my vocals are shitty

I'm a gangster crapper
I carry an Uzi
When I take a poop
It's always a doozy

I'm a gangster crapper
I poop in the ghetto
This 'hood is rough
So I carry a stiletto

I'm a gangster crapper
They call me "G.C."
In a back alley
Is where I poop and pee

I'm a gangster crapper
I'm a local oligarch
I make loads of dough
I poop in the park

I'm a gangster crapper
I pimp out these ho's
When I take a poop
Better hold yo' nose

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I made an 18 incher today replete with bicolour corn and other things. It took 4 wipes to get clean ans it left an awesome skid mark.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Poo Star Trek comic joke. Enjoy.

https://imgur.com/undefined

https://imgur.com/undefined

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Elaine delete my other post above, not sure what happened with the 'undefined' result. Thanks.

https://imgur.com/a/AyTqUed

https://imgur.com/a/AyTqUed

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

What is Star Trek's five-year mission?

To circle Uranus and wipe out Klingons.

-----

Why did Kirk poop in outer-space?

To boldly go where no man has gone before.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I'm hittin' on the pipe while I'm shittin' and on Skype
Because my shit is global, bitches
My stench has earned me fabulous riches

The length of my turds clog every can
The truth of my words destroy every man

Fuck with me and I'll tear you to pieces
Because I'm a bad ass mother feces