RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

^^Whoooooo!!! I am scared now!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I was a awakened with a rumbling in my stomach, got up and then had a massive bout of diahhrea just as my butt hit the seat. I must have lost half a gallon. I feel refreshed now.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

In a world where the wind blows strong,
There's a sound that can't go wrong.
It's not a melody or a sweet refrain,
But a rumble that brings joy and pain.

From deep within, a rumbling starts,
Escaping in bursts, the gas departs.
A symphony of toots and blasts,
A comedic relief that's unsurpassed.

Some may wrinkle their nose in disgust,
But for others, it's a source of robust
Laughter and giggles, a lighthearted jest,
A natural function we can't resist.

So let it out, don't hold it in,
Embrace the fart with a cheeky grin.
For in the end, it's a simple art,
A playful ode to the humble fart.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Humpty Dumpty shat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty made an out-call
All the king's ho's and all the king's bitches
Drained Humpty's balls and his riches

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I wish the Queen of Rounders would check in.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

^^You rang? Don't push your luck. If I find out where you live, you just might find yourself stepping in one of my rounders outside your door.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Sweet, you ol poopmonger you! Yall better not even think about droppin one o' yer patented rounders on my door, or else muh huntin dogs will run you off fer sure. And tell yer friend Mamsquatch to go away. This naborhood smells bad enuff without the stink o' your rounders makin it worse.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I'm So Glad

My stomach is quaking
I'm about to quit
So glad to shit
So glad to shit

I sit down and grunt
Out comes all of it
So glad to shit
So glad to shit

(Guitar Solo)

I wipe and flush
Then take a bong hit
So glad to shit
So glad to shit

Best Poetry Thread Ever

The World's Luckiest Man

The man with the stinkiest
Farts in the world
Those who smelled one
Their nose hairs curled
Those who smelled two
They hurled

Such fame
Such luck
He even pooped
A hockey puck

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I eat like a hog
and I drop a massive log
Im not what you'd call descreet
I drop my poo in the middle of the street
When I eat at taco bell
I unleash an odor from hell
My sphincter serves me very well.

Le Poop Thread

Parenthood

Hey, mum
Please powder my bum
You were there from the start
With each and every shart

You're a good wiper
Now put on my diaper

Hey, dad
I'm so glad
You have an appointment
To apply some ointment

And as you rub
I'll eat all your grub

I'll be a good son someday
Because I'm going to die too
There's no escaping the infinite
Then we'll never be apart

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I see AE is back up. My record of continuous days of making poops that leave skidmarks remains intact. 4 years, 5 months and 10 days!!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

So I totally forgot about this one.

A couple of decades ago I had to drink some cobalt concoction, I think, so I could get an abdominal x-ray. Doc warned me that it would turn my shit to stone and stay in the toilet for an indefinite amount of time.

After the first expulsion, I decided to walk about a block to where I was going to grad school and leave it for them. Bet they never figured out who left the cement poop.

Flush It Down

Just a few moments ago, I took a large multi-turd non-cobalt dump that I think you should know about, so thank you for reading my poop report, the end.

Flush Twice It's a Long Way to Fetid Poo Pit

High Society

I drink cobalt
I eat stew
I shit bricks
And so can you

Drink some cobalt
Eat some stew
Shit some bricks
Then do the boogaloo

Elevate your thinking
Enlighten your soul
Shit cobalt bricks
Out of your asshole

Celebrate National Potty Training Week

I just took a large satisfying post-dinner dump. It was very stinky.

THE END

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I just dropped the nastiest watery greaser ever. I couldn't get away from the outhouse fast enough. That smell could knock a mule down.

I Heart Global Warming

Took a dump earlier, then later I lit a fart and singed some bung hairs, but I'm fine.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I took some Colon Blow and I had a 21 incher that shot out like a cannonball! It left no skids and almost went down without flushing!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Where can I get some "Colon Blow'?

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I had a nice 17 incher this am. It was slek and smooth and quite hard. It went down woithout leaving any skid marks. I was quite refreshed afterwards.

Read It and Weep

Whereby to Live

You may think I'm a fool
But I live by The Brown Rule
Where every toilet is a valuable tool
And every poop is a crown jewel

Friday Afternoon Poop Report

Just took a huge shit, dense and stinky, one foot-long turd, broke off clean, nothing to wipe, easily washed the bung squeaky clean, no skid, the end.

Lenten Poop Poetry Slam

Chef Recommends

When you eat cheddar cheese
Drink as much wine as you please
And you'll blow such a sweet breeze
That sounds like birds singing in the trees

Then after the wind dies down
Your underpants will be stained brown
This is what the chef recommends
To those of you with rear ends

I Heart Poop

This poop report is to announce the birth of a 20-inch blind trout named Marco that was flushed to the sea to spawn.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I blew a big fart that was stinky and luscious
Then I took a big shit that took three flushes

For all that was brown to go down
I rule this town, you just a clown

I drink a bottle of milk of magnesia
I crap so large I need anesthesia

I shit until the bowl overfills
frat boy, I got bowel movement skills

Turd, word

Lactose Intolerance for All

The Words of Nanook

If it's cold
You won't freeze
If you light a match
And cut the cheese

The Pride of Wisconsin

When I eat cheese
In my guts
Toxic gas is made

Then the next day
On the can
Bricks of shit are laid

Which I then sell
On eBay
And that's how I get paid

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Good job cc schizo. U tell 'em!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

Looks like Magus is obsessed again.

His demon, CC schizo, is living rent-free in his head again! LOL!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

^ cc schizo

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

I can choose my own gender
I'm a man in a dress
When I shit in the ladies room
I make a hell of a mess

I'll raise a big stink
I'll take a piss in the sink
Bitch, don't tell me who I am
Or on the sidewalk your head I'll slam

I'm a hell of a man is who I am
I'm a hell of a women too

And if you don't like my gender
Fuck you, bitch, fuck you

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

WOW! I could only believe that the last song is about Magus or FD.

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

^ projection

RE: Alien-Earth's 2nd Official Poo Thread!

My 2 poops arrived on time as expected. The first was an 18 inches filled with bicolour corn and other "shit". The second was a mere 8 inches but came with some projectile diahrrea. Each required 4 swipes and neither left a skid mark.