Last Post Wins

No winners last time due to AE meltdown.

So we start again!

RE: Last Post Wins

RE: Last Poop Wins

RE: Last Post Wins

RE: Last Post Wins

shirley you jest

RE: Last Post Wins

Sleep with eye open done posting.

RE: Last Post Wins

RE: Last Post Wins

never say never

RE: Last Post Wins

I'ma gunna win!

RE: Last Post Wins

the caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity

~george carlin

RE: Last Poop Wins

If I knew it was gonna be that kind of party.

RE: Last Post Wins

RE: Last Post Wins

you know the drill

RE: Last Post Wins

" I LOST MY SHEEP!"

(posted laaaaaaahst)

RE: Last Post Wins

"Ah found ma THRILL.. in hampton heath loo hill"

RE: Last Post Wins

^ I wish to apologize for this SOCIAL FORUM FRAUD!
posting as myself.

I must now formally state, to all the members of this forum
that this poster is a CAD , a LOUT and a SELF LOATHING CONFIDENCE TRICKSTER.
A LOWLY REPROBATE who, if he had any class, any integrity at all, would leave this forum and dig a hole under the largest rock

Never

to return here

FOREVER!

Thank you.

The REAL Jolly.

(Posting last.)

RE: Last Post Wins

Alo alo alo.
Whoi dant ya go gettin ya nethers inna twist ova those two jokahs. Oim the REAL Jolly I is. A regula cockney
And oi uses it too I does
Theya. Up theya on the heath.
In tha little green buuiwdin there.
Calls it the blew loo we does

Ya sees oim a Brit. And well.. we talks a little funny we does. Penny for a farthing those two jokahs are some kina yanks, pullin yor chains they is.
Theys praksters all right, regular charlitains.
Dant ya goes a givin ya knickas away fer a andfull a coppahs an a roit frienly slap on yer arse , theys aint the REAL Jolly.

I is!

Postin last Oi is too I is!

Oi reckon.

RE: Last Post Wins

I never heard a cockney say, "I is". You can do better.

RE: Last Post Wins

Woi Oi.. oi otta gives ye the back o me and!

OI is too a cokney oi is!
Oi gots the cock ta prove it.
GET OUTTAVE IT.

Oi comes roit outta Livapool. Born an raised.
Me an Poul Mcahtney.
Ya didn know that my girl?

Wellllll. IT BE TRUE! IT IS.

That's roight Oim a Liverpudlian!
Prad av it too.
Oi feeds tha bihds, tuppence a bag it is.
Ya dint know tha
di ya luv, DI YA?
BLIMEY.

POSTIN LAST I IS I IS.

SOMUN CALLED A COPPER

(sound of constable blowin his whistle. Scamperin footsteps echo down the Ripper's own alley.
In Mayfair!)

RE: Last Post Wins

(If his cock hangs down to his knee..



He's real.)

RE: Last Post Wins

High tea in Jollie's Aunt's parlour

5 am.

More tea dear?
Thank you.
The tray cart is wheeled over
(creakily)

Everything smells.. musty.
And a little
Dank.

Cucumber sandwich?
Well.. what do you put in them?
Cucumber.
Paste.
It comes in a tin.
Well yes then.

Time passes...

More tea dear?
Yes please.
One lump or two?
TWO!
I remembered..

Seed cake?
Please Dear.
Oh by the way...
The Vicar sends his regrets.
His sherry problem. you know?
More tea?

2am.
Gong sounds for supper.
"Supper me lady"
Tonite we have cold tongue.

And kippers!

RE: Last Post Wins

in the words of marcel marceau:

" "

RE: Last Post Wins

RE: Last Post Wins

I can't believe it's been almost 15 years since I was in London. I had such fun there.

RE: Last Post Wins

A group of penguins in the water is called a raft but on land they’re called a waddle.

RE: Last Post Wins

In all seriousness all things English/Irish/Welsh/.. are simply fascinating.
One can never get enough of their incredibly diverse culture.

RE: Last Post Wins

You know,

Land based empires , based on trade, Make Sense.
Rome made sense.
Middle Eastern trading cultures ..
They just sit there, trade passes thru, they grow fat and rich fluorish and die of corruption, that's understandable.
But the Brit empire, a little island made up of a hodgepodge of fragmented cultures, in all their individual ethnic and cultural diversities, then dominates a quarter of the world through sea based shipping trade and the burgeoning infantile advances of industrial revolution technologies...
That is unique.

It is an incredibly unique historical anomaly.

Well worth the study.

RE: Last Post Wins

wait one minute there pard. What about the Phonecians? They dominated sea trade

what about Japan then? Huh? They were an island sea trader

RE: Last Post Wins

Professor Aronax addresses a 23rd century world governing council..

"Ladies and Gentlemen.
Let us all agree that man originated on land, some say trees, some gardens..
But NO ONE can reasonably suggest

Man originated in the oceans.

NO MAN has gills
NO MAN has flippers.

No, man originated on LAND.
On his own TWO FEET.

That said, We propose, that oceans ARE THE ENEMY OF MAN.

THEY MUST THEREFORE BE ELIMINATED, replaced by land, and land will be UNIVERSAL.

No longer will water separate man, nor create isolated islands.

All men will be united.

Not to be separated by water.

WATER

Mankind's

ENEMY!"

(the courtroom erupts in chaos abd thunderous applause!)

RE: Last Post Wins

makes me thirsty ...

... to post last

RE: Last Post Wins

*Wakes up, looks out window and sees the militia passing out as masks.

The vile and insidious Derpturd’s buggery party is still going on and the smell of poopy ass is wafting into town and when combined with the smell of dead “used” fish that Sweat has been launching into town from her heinous cooter, the smell is almost unbearable.

Pee Amore, Oldwhatshisproblem and Beanz have re-supplied the buggery party-goers with “Dutchboy peppermint” anal lubricant to keep the party going at breakneck speed and have taken the lead with a menage au trois in the middle of a bunch of minions doing the chicken dance.

Silvertongue, Entropoop, Freeblow, Shagging Sheep and the Ahanasty/Hot Mouth Luke glory hole tag-team duo, along with Strange Sandy have been tooling around the county offering half price glory hole service for the first week of the New Year, while Courtfool and Your Moron are doing the same for the residents of the retirement home.

Sweat is smiling ear-to-ear because she has managed to launch scored of “used” dead fish into town from her heinous cooter and stink it up real good and there are rumors that she is planning to launch “rounders” into town from her nasty bunghole later this evening.*

Off to get a gas mask from the militia, then will assist in removing dead “used” fish strewn about the town.

Posting last.

RE: Last Post Wins

(QUIET PLEASE!)
please continue.
Professor, Just HOW do you propose to drain the world's oceans and return 2/3 of captive non productive land to to those who cannot swim or chose not to?

Today, we , our commitee of deadicated scientists , have submitted plans to install beneficial fusion energy hydro rigs to DE LIQUIFY the planet.


These benevolent structures will provide good clean energy , that we will share with other solar system partners , that co partner with us to deliquify and reclaim forgotten landmasses

now being held hostage.

Liquid .. evil



Hydro bodies.. good

It is that

simple.

(There, posting last, professor Aronax outlined his agencie's global plan to reclaim lands long thought lost now needed for the teeming burgeoning 562 plus billion productive citizens.

Back to you,

Chet)

RE: Last Post Wins

Sweat is smiling ear-to-ear because she has managed to launch scored of “used” dead fish into town from her heinous cooter and stink it up real good and there are rumors that she is planning to launch “rounders” into town from her nasty bunghole later this evening.*

RE: Last Post Wins

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

The simole door resounded with the fiercly unrelenting blows.
"Is there anyone home? I need assistance!"
A light flickered on in the turret window above, and slippered shoes padded the stairs , the latch thrown a dark sillouette filled the doorframe of the simple Whitehall cottage.
"I need a phone. There's been an accident. My Broom overturned in the storm.
" May I come in", the dark stranger entered, not waiting for her reply.
"Why certainly dear, come in by the fire and warm yourself"
She said helping him with his dripping wet overcoat.
"Would you care for some tea"? She called not waiting his reply.
Soon she emerged from the simple kitchen pushing a creeky tea cart.
"Light or dark dear?" She asked as she poured out the tea.
"And here ,have a sandwhich. Cucumber or salmon paste?"
He greedily ate both, for he was ravenous.
He had been very busy that night. Indeed he had.
Time passed, the clock struck, he stealthily reached in the inner pocket of his still dripping overcoat.
He fingered a small leather case, caressing it's contents.
Removing an ever so sharp scalpel, he waited for her return, she would be his third tonite.
And then.. a very sharp pain. And convulsion.
Collapsing to the floor he struggled to soeak, but could not.
She was hazy now, lights danced on her features.
She sighed and giggled softly speaking kindly as he passed..

"Why dear. I'm afraid my sandwich paste has turned!"

Whistles blared in the alley as Jack the Ripper..

passed on...



to hell.

RE: Last Post Wins

and now over to the sports desk ...

here's a partial score from the premier league

liverpool 3

RE: Last Post Wins

YAY! Corny started a ne last post thread. I wonder who he'll choose as the winner. It's has not been the "last poster" in the past.